Can O' Whup-Ass

Haiku Review #36: Terminator Salvation (Plus Bonus Limerick Review!)

HAIKU REVIEW:

Just like Dick Cheney
Heartless cyborg resurrects
Can't he f*cking die?

BONUS LIMERICK:

Since the big robot was born, ya
Knew he time-traveled to warn ya
And save Sarah Conner
But now he's "His Honor
The Governor of California"

Christian Bale sez: "You better m*therf*ckin subscribe to this m*therf*ckin blog's feed, m*therf*cker."

Haiku Review #35: Changeling

In Eastwood's new flick

Jolie can't keep track of her

Babies. Oscar time!

Haiku Review #34: Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys

Quarantines loud-mouth

Negros at the multiplex!

Watch white flicks in peace!

Haiku Review #33: Batman — The Dark Knight

Posthumous Oscar?

Groovy. Ledger was still robbed

For Brokeback Mountain

Haiku Review #32: Mamma Mia! (Plus Bonus Limerick!!)

haiku

Streep? Brosnan? Singing
ABBA? Prancing about the
Greek Isles? Gun rights now!

limerick

This film isn't for intellectuals
Movie geeks or introspectuals
(Your career, dear old Meryl
Seems over a barrel)
It's for f*g-hags and their homosexuals

Haiku Review #31: The Incredible Hulk

Nice normal guy turns

Green, roided, cranky (The Hulk,

Not Roger Clemens)

Haiku Review #30: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Next summer: Indi-

Something-Jones and the Nursing

Home of Alzheimers

Haiku Review #29: Prom Night

Bulimics in gowns?

Screaming queens dropping like flies?

It's Project Runway!

Haiku Review #28: Horton Hears a Who

Which old pachyderm

Hears lil' folks screaming for help?

Horton or Oprah?

Haiku Review #27: Rambo

Sly's haunting screenplay:

"Rambo take some Geritol

Rambo gun go 'boom'"