Album review: Heidi Klum's "Dead Inside: Beloved Christmas songs translated from English to German and back into English"

Review: It's that time of year again, when salespeople are trampled, Grandma gets groped by security, and our little darlings are traumatized by fire-spewing demon dolls. It's also the season when the Klum-Seals gather around der tannenbaum and Heidi tells her darling brood of fashionable mulatto accessories that "In Christmas, one day you're in und der next day you're out."

It's time to rejoice, all right. Ms. Klum's singing debut is certain to become a holiday favorite. Wrapping her monotonous, mildly tone-deaf voice around many Christmas favorites we thought we knew...that is, until they were translated from English to German and back into English.

PLAYLIST
Polka 'round der Tannenbaum
Dead inside/Still Nacht*
I saw Mutter schtupping dicker red elf Klaus
Ein Kleine Schwartzer Drummer Junge
Freude at zur Welt*
Tragen der Frau in Gay Apparel (Deck the Halls)*
Haben Sie Not Unpleasant Ein Kleine Tiny Christmas
All I want for Weihnachten is my two big white things in front
Die Songspeil About der Glocken (Carol of the Bells)
Ach, Kommt all ye Superstitious

*SAMPLE LYRICS:

Dead Inside (Silent Night)
Dead inside, dead inside
Christ was born und then he died
From der Judenfrau Jesus Ker-plops
Spike der egg nog with peppermint schnapps
Howl on how silent the night was!
Caterwaul silent ein nacht! (cont'd.)

Tragen Frau in Gay Apparel (Deck the Halls)
Tragen Frau en Gay Apparel, auf-auf-auf-auf-auf, auf-auf-auf-auf
I would rather wear a barrel, auf-auf-auf-auf-auf, auf-auf-auf-auf
From the out-take footage we know, auf-auf-auf, auf-auf-auf, auf-auf-auf
Michael Kors once shtupped Santino, auf-auf-auf-auf-auf, auf-auf-auf-auf (cont'd.)

Freude at zur Welt (Joy to the World)
Freude at zur Welt, sieg heil at Christ
Let ich receive mein bling!
I'd like this necklace iff'n he
Had purchased it at Tiffany
Seal, did you save der receipt?
Seal, did you save der receipt?
Did has-been schwartzer balladeer save the receipt? (cont'd.)

xox
WAM

Seal sez: "My wife says if I don't subscribe to this blog's feed, I'm auf'd"

Comments

[spinach]

what the hell is this

so you took the original lyrics of "Deck the Halls" et al. and double translated them? Then why do they happen to rhyme? You just made the lyrics up yourself

[Static]

Irony, it seems, is wasted on the stupid.

[Burberry Handbags]

original lyrics of "Deck the Halls" et al. and double translated th

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*SAMPLE LYRICS:

Dead Inside (Silent Night)
Dead inside, dead inside
Christ was born und then he died
From der Judenfrau Jesus Ker-plops
Spike der egg nog with peppermint schnapps
Howl on how silent the night was!
Caterwaul silent ein nacht! (cont'd.)

Tragen Frau in Gay Apparel (Deck the Halls

[Hermes Birkin]

PLAYLIST
Polka 'round der Tannenbaum
Dead inside/Still Nacht*
I saw Mutter schtupping dicker red elf Klaus
Ein Kleine Schwartzer Drummer Junge

[Louis Vuitton Bags]

Review: It's that time of year again, when salespeople are trampled, Grandma gets groped by security, and our little darlings are traumatized by fire-spewing demon dolls. It's also the season when the Klum-Seals gather around der tannenbaum and Heidi tells her darling brood of fashionable mulatto accessories that "In Christmas, one day you're in und der next day you're out."

It's time to rejoice, all right. Ms. Klum's singing debut is certain to become a holiday favorite. Wrapping her monotonous, mildly tone-deaf voice around many Christmas favorites we thought we knew...that is, until they were translated from English to German and back into English.

[Coach Factory Outlet Online]

Freude at zur Welt, sieg heil at Christ
Let ich receive mein bling!
I'd like this necklace iff'n he
Had purchased it at Tiffany
Seal, did you save der receipt?
Seal, did you save der receipt?
Did has-been schwartzer balladeer save the receipt? (cont'd.)

xox
WAM

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