Dear Andrea Fay Friedman

Dear Andrea,

We read with rapt fascination the story in the NYTimes (and again on Gawker) about how you engaged in slap fight with Sarah Palin and her daughter (sexually-abstinent single mother) Bristol and handed them their fannies on a platter. It all started when you, a Down Syndrome actress, voiced a Down Syndrome character on "Family Guy."

While "Family Guy" has never been accused of being highbrow (or even funny), the episode treated your character as strong, opinionated, and clever. But then came that moment when your character claimed that her mother "used to be governor of Alaska."

Never one to miss a chance to be publicly outraged, Palin immediately Twittered that she felt "kicked in the gut" (is it just us or does she seem to secretly enjoy a good gut-kicking?) Then she invited her totally non-Down Syndrome daughter Bristol to chime in. Apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the fame-whore, because instead of saying "Mom, please don't drag our family into another public brawl," Bristol happily obliged:

"Insults directed at our youngest brother hurt too much for us to remain silent. If the writers of a particularly pathetic cartoon show thought they were being clever in mocking my brother and my family yesterday, they failed. All they proved is that they’re heartless jerks."

Then, unable to confine her outrage to Twitter, Sarah took her never-ending look-at-my-retarded-baby-and-admire-me reunion tour to that beacon of civil discourse The O'Reilly Factor, where she said "When are we going to be willing to say, you know, some things just aren’t really funny?" The answer to her question is obvious, of course; we'll stop making jokes about the Palins when they stop being hilarious.

But then the NYTimes asked you, Andrea Fay Friedman to comment. You said:

"Former Governor Palin doesn't have a sense of humor. (At least) My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes."

Oh, SNAP! Andrea, you are now our favorite person.

See, here's the thing. We're not a fan of Family Guy. We think 90% of its jokes are still-born. But even if the episode in question was slightly exploity, you made the conscious decision to take the role. Lil' Trig, on the other hand, has had zero say about starring in the long-running sitcom "Guess Who Mommy Didn't Abort?"

Because that's not exploitive at ALL.

When Sarah keeps repeating, over and over, that Trig is a special gift from Jesus, what she's really saying is she barely tolerates the poor child. We know that if Princess Youbetcha was truly concerned about protecting her family from public ridicule, she wouldn't be taking every battle public, writing memoirs about them, parading them about ad nauseum. After all, this is a woman who put great effort into making the father of her grandchild an overnight celebrity, then took great (public) offense when he became famous.

But then again, she's not exactly the sharpest tack in the box. She thinks Africa is a country. She believes we share a border with Afghanistan. She fears for the future of free speech in a country where the media can say whatever they want. (Some folks are born retarded, some acquire retardation, and others have it thrust upon them.)

We sincerely hope she's the Republican candidate in 2012. Because the Palin/Obama debate is bound to produce the greatest straight-man/funny-lady comedy team since Burns and Allen.

How do we know this? Because Palin engaged in a battle of wits with you and lost. It was an unfair fight of course. She was clearly unarmed.

Sarah sez: "When I subscribed to this blog's feed, it was like a kick in the gut."

Comments

[JWB3]

You voice our feelings most sincerely WAM, keep 'em coming!

[Whup-Ass Master]

@jwbcubed: howdy! and how was mardi gras? did you wear your sparkly suit??

xox
WAM

[JWB3]

Mardi Gras was...all that and a sack of, oh well you know all that! Hell yeah! I wore the sparkly suit, to the Queen of Endymion's Ball! And I had a hand made pair of purple green and gold shoes especially made for the occasion! With a Fleur de lis embossed on the toe of each shoe. It was Mardigras-tastic!

[ellie]

The picture you have of her makes her look like a nun.

[Paul Smith]

Merci beaucoup.