When you wrote that heart-breaking, brave article about your decision, as a sports writer for the LA Times, to send back your kielbasa for the clam dish (and asked that everyone refer to you as "Christine"), we were in your corner. You handled it with more humor and good grace than we could fathom.
When you decided you'd had enough of Christine (and her split ends) and were returning to Mike Penner, we had fun at your expense. We said that unless you're Mr. Potato Head, genetalia are not easily interchangeable. We also urged you to pick a gender and stick with it. This ain't a game of musical chairs, we chortled.
And now. Now you decided to kill yourself.
Goddammit, Mike.
We curse the demons that tormented you. We feel shame for making light of your game of "pin the tail on the gender."
You didn't have to do this. You were loved, regardless of what you packed 'neath your underoos.
So now, as you stand naked before your maker, vulnerable (liberated?), ask Him what He intended. Did he aim to make a Mike or was he really going for a Christine? And know, down here on this mortal coil, it didn't matter a damn whether you had an "innie" or an "outie." You were a member of the family of man. A being of value and beauty.
Would that we could have made you feel more welcome in your skin. And that you were able to love yourself for the fabulous creature you were.
Sleep tight, bitch. You better work.
xox
WAM
Thank you for the follow through on this subject. I've never thought that your blog is mean spirited in any way. This person was disturbed on a level we can never understand.
Posted by: RamboSF | November 30, 2009 at 01:35 AM
What a sad loss. I wonder if there was a time when he was happy. If only the world could be more understanding and less judgmental, maybe it would have helped. Then again, maybe not.
Posted by: Leeuna | November 30, 2009 at 09:29 AM
@ leeuna & rambo: it's weird that we feel so sad for the sap. But we do. Dammit.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | November 30, 2009 at 09:13 PM
Me too.
Posted by: JWB3 | December 01, 2009 at 08:12 PM
Thanks JWB cubed...it's good to hear from you.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | December 01, 2009 at 08:33 PM
This whole issue haunts me and I keep reviewing this post.
I think that had I been born 100 years ago, I may have had this same result. It's never good to feel out of place, but being gay is much more acceptable than ever before. Sadly, even within the gay community, there is a discomfort level with associating with the transgendered community.
We're all human and should treat our fellow man with respect.
Posted by: RamboSF | December 04, 2009 at 03:49 PM
While it's easy for most people to dismiss Mr. Penner as a "freak" (and yea he had some serious issues). I think there are some things we can learn from the confused Mr. Penner.
This man was living proof that human sexuality doesn't confine itself very well to boxes. Human sexual behavior is real kalediscope of tastes and behaviors. Nevertheless, our current culture tends to put people in boxes and label those boxes "gay" or "straight". Both of those terms are labels language has created and our society puts out a lot of conditioning to make sure people fit into the right box. For most folks, these boxes seem to work out reasonably well.
But Mr. Penner just didn't want to live in a box... I suspect he probably got therapy at some point. And the therapist probably went through a lot of discovery with Mr. Penner to see what box he fit into but to no avail.
Posted by: winski | December 11, 2009 at 04:06 PM
@winksi: wow, what a thoughtful, intelligent comment. Have you taken to watching Oprah?
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | December 11, 2009 at 05:45 PM
A considerate piece, about personal peace and happiness. I will take a moment (non-season specific) to wish it for all of us.
~lb*/
Posted by: lablu∞z | December 16, 2009 at 04:18 PM
Merci beaucoup.
Posted by: Paul Smith | December 06, 2011 at 06:20 AM