Dear Mable Peabody

Hiya Mable,

We have no idea who you are, but we're inclined to like you. First of all, we suspect you're hilarious after your third harvey wallbanger.

Beyond that, this must be said: there's multi-tasking and there's multi-tasking. For instance, we recall watching a beauty pageant as a child and were enthralled by one particular contestant whose talent was tap-dancing as she juggled lit torches. While we doubted she'd have much practical real-world application for her spectacular tap-juggling, it was nevertheless an intriguing skill-set.

But Mable, the ability to give a bitch a rinse-and-set, while adjusting the carburetor on a McCulloch MXC kicks tap-juggling's ass.

We live, Ms. Peabody, in the era of one-stop shopping. We've seen everything from laundromat/tanning salons to dog-grooming chiropractors.

With that in mind, we admire the entrepreneurial spunk required to open the world's first go-to resource for the sensible lady who'd like her permanent did while getting her chain drive greased. Or for that matter, your establishment is a convenient alternative for the discerning transvestite logger whose fuel line is clogged yet who also needs his brows tweezed and his roots touched up. 

However, we are just a wee bit concerned that in the middle of an unforeseen rush you might inadvertently give a henna rinse to a refurbished Black and Decker and replace some poor woman's front hand grip and tighten her bar nuts. We also hope you're even-keeled and you avoid the meth, because on a bad day you might snap and give a gal a little off the top with a turbo-charged Husqvarna 359.

Why, that would make about as much sense as Paul Bunyan trying to fell a sequoia with a lash curler.

xox

WAM

Mable sez: "I subscribed to this blog's feed while giving a frost-n-tip to an Echo CS-341." 

Comments

[Mike Waite]

Do you know what kind of place this is? If you don't know, it's a gay bar in Denton, Texas that actually burnt to the ground; not sure if they reopened it or not, but I did go there with a group of friends once; it's a funny little Lesbian bar.... How did you hear of it?

[Whup-Ass Master]

@mike waite: dammit. dammit-dammit-dammit. don't get us wrong, we love the lesbos (and even bartended at the clit club way back when, interesting experience). but we SO wanted mable peabody to be real.

xox
WAM

[Leeuna]

What?? You mean this place no longer exists? Well just dang! Right when I needed my chainsaw repaired and my roots touched up. I can't have nothin'!

[Whup-Ass Master]

@leeuna: according to mike, were you to haul your defunct chainsaw and your black roots into mable's, you'd actually find yourself amongst flannel clad lesbians asking you to slow dance to the indigo girls. then where would you be?

xox
WAM

[Flaquita]

Can someone let me in on the secret of the Laundromat/tanning salon duet? I had NO idea these existed until my last trip to Maine where the lady who changed my five for a half roll of quarters was as leathery and wrinkled as a Slim Jim. Obviously taking advantage of on-the-job perks. There was a whole chain of these places in small towns throughout Maine.

Wouldn't the pairing of a laundromat and bar or laundromat and 12 step meetings make more sense?

[ellie]

We have a secret just north of SoHo. It pretends to be a Camera Repair Shop, but really it's Pepes, our own little speakeasy.

Oh, and over here, spunk is spooge.

Hee hee. You said spunk.

[Whup-Ass Master]

@flaquita: the laundromat/tanning salon is retarded, although we suspect that typical sun bed session times out conveniently with a wash cycle. It gives one something to do, and there's nothing more depressing than sitting in a laundromat waiting for your clothes.

@ellie: We can always count on you hilarious brits for a laff. What exactly are folks in Pepe's speakin' easy about?

xox
WAM

[ellie]

They're pretty much talking smack. Smoking indoors (after the smoking ban) and lucky to be drinking anything more than San Miguel ... just depends what has been smuggled into the basement. If the music is on, there's no talking and just dancing. If you're above a certain height, then you're head will be on a tilt. Low British basement ceilings.

[Mike Waite]

Upon investigation after your heartfelt anguish over the demise of this lovely establishment, I discovered and this is GREAT NEWS.. Mable's is till sawing, curling and hoppin!!! if you go to http://www.geocities.com/mablepeabodys/ You can see Mable's going strong again..... A few years ago apparently a curling iron "Set it off" (pardon the Lesbo reference...and wasn't the Queen L just scary in that??) and the place burned to ground..Rumor has it that burning flannel, wood chips and Barbara Streisand albums fanned the flames for hours.....