The world watched breathlessly as Perez Hilton and Lily Allen engaged in a Twitter slap fight. Just yesterday E!'s Giuliana Rancic and Access Hollywood's Billy BushTwittered the tar out of each other. And who was able to sleep when cultural bellwether Aston Kutcher and CNN were locked in a thrilling Twattle (aka Twitter Battle). Yet somehow, the bloody Twattle raging betwixt hunkalicious hockey dad Levi Johnston and America's favorite born-again moose hunter Sarah Palin managed to slip past our collective radar. How the heck did THAT happen? Could it be because they ingeniously disguised themselves with clever noms de net?
Leave it to COWA to right that egregious wrong. Below is the Johnston/Palin Twattle in its entirety. Your undying adoration is thanks enough.
GODGAL: Levi it was rude of U 2 go on that negro woman's talk show and tell fibs about us, even if they're true.
HOTPUCK: Yeah well suck it grandma.
GODGAL: We agreed to be nice 2 U until the election ended and Tripp plopped from Bristol's sin hole. And u agreed to shut ur yap.
HOTPUCK: Y R U callin my family white trash? They R so embarrassed they can't leave the trailer to deal their meth.
GODGAL: I can't believe Bristol let u put ur shame hose in her hoo-hoo. U R a doo-doo head and you make Jesus cry.
HOTPUCK: She begged for it, practically dragged me into the janitor closet right after the chastity pledge potluck.
GODGAL: U took advantage of her. U took my baby's virginity and put ur devil seed in her tummy. I regret giving u pointers on how 2 b a media whore.
HOTPUCK: Hey, I didn't want to make no baby with that bat-faced porker. I was a gentleman, I offered to put it up her poo hole instead.
GODGAL: Bristol said u wanted to sell her baby on e-bay like that man who tried to sell his daughter who was in that movie about the dot-heads.
HOTPUCK: So? My truck needs new tires and a gun rack.
GODGAL: I wish I followed thru on my promise to give u a job so's I could strong-arm ur boss into firing u.
HOTPUCK: Shut ur pie-hole, granny. Go check on ur retarded baby, it's prolly eating its poop.
Levi Johnston sez: "My subscription to this blog's feed is more fun than my 'I'm not white trash' talk show tour and press junket!"
Stumble It!
Okay, I'll admit it - I laughed out loud at "sin hole" and "shame hose." Great stuff.
Being from Alaska, this is particularly amusing to me. Perhaps I need to sign up for Twitter after all.
Posted by: wolf | April 27, 2009 at 02:36 PM
Howdy Wolf! From Alaska, huh?
We have rejected twitter, as we find most of the folks who twit to have grating personalities.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | April 28, 2009 at 03:59 PM
Don't worry - I have rejected Twitter as well. In fact, I just blogged about it last week.
Posted by: wolf | April 28, 2009 at 07:25 PM
Your opinion is very good
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