As you well know, the lives of celebrities are endlessly fascinating. We want to know what and who they're doing at every moment of the day. We want to know what drugs they're taking, what they're wearing, and what drugs they were taking when they decided to wear what they're wearing. We simply cannot go on without this crucial information. It is our heroin. And COWA is your Betty Ford Clinic. So check in, bitches.
Below, we have
once again scored the ultimate star-f*cker's treasure. Our sociopathic network of ninja moles has tip-toed into the homes of the rich and famous and swiped whatever was tacked to their stainless steel sub-zeroes with kitschy fruit-shaped magnets. The yield? Another collection of art created by a group of talented-by-proxy celebu-tots who give us endless hours of entertainment as we terrorize them with paparazzi paragliding into their preschools.
Again, you're welcome.
that doesn't look anything like my kids art...
Posted by: winski | January 12, 2009 at 11:04 AM
Oh you bastard, you made me snort Dr. Pepper out my nose. These are friggin' hilarious!
But you drew Britney Spears' legs way too thin.
Posted by: Jeffrey Ellis | January 12, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Tears. I'm laughing so hard I've got tears coming out all four of my eyes! Sarah Palin ought to be wearing overalls. That is all.
Posted by: JWB3 | January 12, 2009 at 01:14 PM
@ winksi: celebrity children are superior to yours, that's why.
@ JE: we did not draw that. unleash your rapier art-critic tongue on sean preston federline.
@ JWB cubed: we believe trig was depicting his mother whoring herself to the media, which is why she's brandishing a bible in one hand and her retarded baby in the other.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | January 12, 2009 at 02:17 PM
I KNEW she was wearing one of the dresses that the republican party bought for her at Target Or was that sac's? I thought she had to give those back.
Posted by: JWB3 | January 13, 2009 at 05:39 AM
We're certain it seemed like a good idea at the time. But you look like you're attending the funeral of your sanity. See here's the thing. You're a trend-setter. Do you really want the entire world to start wearing their underoos as outerwear? Have you given the slightest thought to the potential ramifications? For starters, it would force us to cover our furniture in plastic. Is that what you really want?
Posted by: Burberry Handbags | July 23, 2011 at 01:31 AM
Vesuvius) to a maximum security brassiere and they rebelled by erupting. The point being while fashion has never been about comfort, it shouldn't incinerate your fans in a pyroclastic flow. But no, we held our tongue. Because any gal whose boobs are wont to spew magma and embarks on a career as a disco diva (instead of, say, an X-man), has spunk in our book. Besides, any concert during which a performer zaps her frankenboobs to life is well worth the ticket price.
But now, Lay-Ga...now we're concerned for your mental health. How we wish we could have read your mind today when you stood before your vast wardrobe. We're more than a little curious about the thought process that caused you to strap a JC Penney's "naughty grandma" underwire bra over your Mary Poppins blouse, hike up a pair of crotchless satin Depends, and secure a Charo wig to your noggin with what appears to be the wrapper from a Hickory Farms "deepest sympathy" cheese and fruit basket.
Posted by: Hermes Birkin | July 23, 2011 at 01:34 AM
blouse, hike up a pair of crotchless satin Depends, and secure a Charo wig to your noggin with what appears to be the wrapper from a Hickory Farms "deepest sympathy" cheese and fruit basket.
We're certain it seemed like a good idea at the time. But you look like you're attending the funeral of your sanity. See here's the thing. You're a trend-setter. Do you really want the entire world to start wearing their underoos as outerwear? Have you given the slightest thought to the potential ramifications? For starters, it would force us to cover our furniture in plastic. Is that what you really want?
You look like (pick one):
Morgan Fairchild in a very special Lifetime movie-of-the-week called "Not Without My Mom-jeans," the heart warming story of a woman who goes into mourning when The Gap discontinues their line of high-waisted acid wash stretch pants
The winning design from that episode of Project Runway where Heidi Klum gives the designers one day to stitch together a wardrobe for the soon-to-hit-the-toy-stores Bi-Polar Barbie
A publicity still from "I Was an Incontinent Space Widow," a daring independent film directed by Darren Aronofsky and starring Charlize Theron, which swept the awards at Sundance
Posted by: Coach Factory Outlet Online | July 23, 2011 at 01:36 AM
Um...Lady?
Ms. Gaga?
Hi. May we call you Ga? Why are you staring at us? Is that a "no"?
So, what do you say we hop the next spaceship to Planet Claire and order a pitcher of Supernovatinis? Or we could just go to TGI Friday's and slam back some fuzzy navels...same diff, really. Doesn't that just sound marvy? We KNOW!
Listen. Here's the deal. You're a serious broad. And we've resisted writing this BNoFC because you're fully aware (indeed, you're the architect) of your craziocity. And anyone who ridicules your LSD-inspired wardrobe is woefully UNaware that the joke is on them. You are begging to be talked about. You frequently leave the house having remembered to bobby-pin a Judy Jetson wig to your noggin, yet somehow you always forget the pants. Beyond that, while we rather enjoyed the rumors that you serve your hair pie with a side of kielbasa, we also strongly suspect you were the one behind that particular meme. You are, as our Beantown friends might say, "wicked smaht."
Posted by: Louis Vuitton Bags | July 23, 2011 at 01:38 AM
blouse, hike up a pair of crotchless satin Depends, and secure a Charo wig to your noggin with what appears to be the wrapper from a Hickory Farms "deepest sympathy" cheese and fruit basket.
We're certain it seemed like a good idea at the time. But you look like you're attending the funeral of your sanity. See here's the thing. You're a trend-setter. Do you really want the entire world to start wearing their underoos as outerwear? Have you given the slightest thought to the potential ramifications? For starters, it would force us to cover our furniture in plastic. Is that what you really want?
You look like (pick one):
Morgan Fairchild in a very special Lifetime movie-of-the-week called "Not Without My Mom-jeans," the heart warming story of a woman who goes into mourning when The Gap discontinues their line of high-waisted acid wash stretch pants
The winning design from that episode of Project Runway where Heidi Klum gives the designers one day to stitch together a wardrobe for the soon-to-hit-the-toy-stores Bi-Polar Barbie
A publicity still from "I Was an Incontinent Space Widow," a daring independent film directed by Darren Aronofsky and starring Charlize Theron, which swept the awards at Sundance
That long lost episode of Love Boat, wherein cruise director Julie McCoy spikes the punch with ecstasy causing Charo to hurl herself overboard, whereupon her distraught lesbian lover Donna Mills disrupts a shuffleboard tournament with her shocking announcement that her girdle's been possessed by beelzebub.
Bloody hell.
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