NEW YORK -- Once again, our favorite Tourette's-afflicted anchornegress (freshly recovered after having her potty mouth gang-soaped by The Peducah Praise Singers) has a hot-off-the-m*therf*cking-presses news bulletin she needs to share. We know better than to argue.
Take it away, Sue!
Thanks, butt-reaming poof-bitch.
I've just received g*ddamned word that the sphincter-sucking rectal boy who writes this c*nt-licking blog is pulling up m*therf*cking stakes and temporarily relocating to the sh*t-kicking c*cksucker capital of the g*ddammned world, Co-f*cking-lumbus, O-f*ggot-*ss-Hio. It seems that O-f*ggot-*ss-Hio State Uni-g*ddamned-versity saw fit to award the *ss-banging cat-fister a m*therf*cking residency, and he's going to hang his ball-bouncing hat at the g*ddamned Thurber House, where that fart-sucking colon poker James Thurber grew up. While he's there the *ss-humping poo-puncher will be teaching m*therf*cking classes, chairing a butt-fisting symposium (whatever the f*ck THAT means), and watching his c*nt-ramming tw*t-licking j*zz-gargling play get produced by a bunch of theatre f*ggots.
Don't get your nuts in a twist, bone-gobblers. This sh*t-stuffing *ss-licking m*therf*cking g*ddamned blog will continue. But maybe not every rectum-humping day, *ss-pirates. So keep your c*ck-squatting tw*t-licking aquaman underoos clean, butt-burglars.
More as this fart-blocking p*d-sitting sh*t-sucking g*ddamned m*therf*cking story develops. I'm Sue f*ck-me-where-I-fart Simmons. Back to your regularly scheduled *ss-fisting program, g*ddamnit.
Sue sez: "Subscribe to this blog's feed, you nut-gargling sphincter-pirates"
congratu-f*ckinglations, you g*ddamned m*therf*cking cat-fister!
Posted by: leigh | September 23, 2008 at 03:59 PM
Why thank you, Leigh :-)
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | September 23, 2008 at 05:18 PM
Wow Ohio. Can I get an invite to the play opening? If they have hotels in that one=horse town. Or at least send me the DVD. I always wanted to be an Art patron.
Posted by: JWB3 | September 23, 2008 at 07:29 PM
JWB cubed: YES, you have an invite to the opening! It opens on November 13, and only runs for 9 performances (this IS a university after all). Check out the info at:
http://theatre.osu.edu/2_productions/level_3_productions/2008_09_season.htm
(my play is PANGEA)
Come check it out!! (yes, buttwipe...they have hotels)
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | September 23, 2008 at 07:33 PM
I never knew James Thurber was a colon poker! Good call - informative AND funny.
Posted by: Chris Wood | September 24, 2008 at 06:16 AM
Hello Chris! We're just as surprised as you. But if Sailor Talkin' Sue says it's so, we're inclined to go along with her.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | September 24, 2008 at 06:31 AM
Congrats, WAM!
Columbus is probably the nicest city in Ohio, very clean and safe and there's lots to do there. It's really an actual cosmopolitan city, it won't even seem like you're in Ohio.
Posted by: Jeffrey Ellis | September 24, 2008 at 08:16 AM
Thanks JE! Arrived safe and sound. This is no joke...we're staying at a freakin MUSEUM (and have half of the third floor of a beautiful victorian house to ourselves). We think we'll enjoy it quite a bit, until someone discovers we're an imposter and we're thrown out on our ear.
Agreed, Columbus is lovely.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | September 24, 2008 at 04:00 PM
The things I could do to a mouth that filthy...
Posted by: Qelqoth | September 24, 2008 at 11:08 PM
Ahh Ohio, well Cleveland... I got lost on a 5 mile run there... turned out to be 15 miles and 2 hours..., Got punched in the nose by a boring short man (I drunkenly wandered off to the toilet - he found me getting blown in full view so it was kinda justified), then made out with the barman... "oh my god you're from England"!
If Colombus is anything like... - get satnav, avoid mini-gays, and don't talk to boys from L.A. at the urinal...
Posted by: GayFirefighter | September 25, 2008 at 12:18 AM
Ah, our two fave Brits...
@Qelqoth: elaborate, please
@gayfirefighter: damn, dude. Incident follows you everywhere. I need to travel with you sometime.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | September 25, 2008 at 08:37 AM
Well Hello Columbus. Getting tired of the asterisks man. Too coy for me. Print it or say it or don't. Use your imagination for something other than body parts. You're a playwright big boy, write something.
Posted by: regina | September 25, 2008 at 07:51 PM
Wow Regina...that comment borders on rude. Sorry we're too coy for your tastes, but we'd prefer to keep google adsense (which one loses when one gets too profane, hence the asterisks). So enlighten us, Regina...you say write something and that's what we thought we were doing. What do you want us to write? Here's a hint: we tend to write what pleases us, not what pleases you.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | September 25, 2008 at 11:11 PM
Didn't think I'd need to but alright. First, I'd wash that bitch's mouth out with industrial bleach before ramming my knob in it. You happy now? ;)
Posted by: Qelqoth | September 26, 2008 at 07:25 AM
@qelgoth: yes, thanks. ecstatic.
xox
WAM
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | September 26, 2008 at 08:38 AM