Royal Shocker: Prince Charles Finger-Pops Laura Bush!

LONDON -- Making an unthinkable diplomatic faux pas, Prince Charles stuck his thumb up Laura Bush's oopsy hole during a formal function at Buckingham Palace.

The dimwitted heir to the throne was apparently inebriated at the Pre-Diana-Memorial-Service Ball and Boiled Meat Feast when he skulked over to the First Lady's side. Mistaking her faux onyx JC Penney necklace for a set of German manufactured anal beads, he asked her if she'd like to play a round of "Little Jack Horner." An aide who overheard the conversation reports that she responded how much she loves pie, whereupon the mentally-challenged issue of Her Majesty's royal shame-box cut a small slit in Laura's Dress Barn Mother-of-the-Bride gown and inserted his delicate bony thumb through her back door.

To her credit, Mrs. Bush did her best to maintain composure after the first sphincter involuntarily clamped down on the Crown Prince's brittle digit, causing him to get stuck. Her brave Xanax-enhanced smile during the ensuing photo op bore further evidence of her cool-headed nature.

No word on whether the Prince of Wales "pulled out a plumb."