Rudy Giuliani

Wow. He’s such a hero! The way he walked uptown all caked with death dust! The way he squared his shoulders and hysterically rattled off hugely inflated casualty estimates! Never mind the fact that the reason he high-tailed it downtown on 9/11 in the first place is so that he could hide in his private multi-million dollar bunker that he built with city funds. Never mind that he ended his marriage with Donna Hanover via press conference, or that he soon thereafter sued Ms. Hanover for the right to invite his floozie to Gracie Mansion sleep-overs (even while Ms. Hanover and their children still lived there). Never mind that he bullied the Brooklyn Museum of Art over art he considered degenerate. Never mind that he closed the steps of City Hall to the slightest protest or cracked down on the most pernicious of urban pests (read: jaywalkers and pretzel salesmen). Never mind that we can’t shake the creepy feeling that he moonlights as the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Who's scarier? Discuss.