Somebody gimme a HO-oh! Waddup, mo-fos. Foxy be representin from da boogie down Park Slope, where a bitch crib be at. And chile, there be too many f*ckin crackas in da hood! Ebby where a sistah look, there be some white-ass Doris Day pushin tree o fo screaming marshmallow babies cross da street in a stroller. Work a bitch's nerve. Foxy gots places to be, yo. When a ho pull her SUV up to da corner she gots da whole von-f*ckin-Trapp family passin by. Hurry the f*ck up, mo-fos! I'll fro dat shit! Respeck. And deez cracka hos ack like they never seen no sistah who gots some welf. Las time a sistah go to da Starbucks fo one o' dem mocha-frappa-whatchamawhozits, some white-azz ho look at Foxy like she watchin da Discovery Channel. So I say "bitch, whatchoo lookin at?" and she say "yo breastesses be fallin out yo blouse" and I say "Foo, why you stare at a sistah's titty, you some kinda lesbo?" and she say "dat shizzle ain't approparate fo da chilluns." So I, Foxy B (always a lady), walk up to her chillun sittin in a stroller, stick my azz in the baby's face and squeeze out a fart so loud da windows be rattlin. "Do dat be approparate, mo-fo?" Dat baby start cryin and Doris Day be axin fo da manager, so Foxy split. F*ck dat. A ho really want a shake from Mickey D anyway. A bitch jus hope honkin a fart into cracka baby's face don't violate a ho's parole. Shizzle.
On da self improobmint tip, Foxy be readin some shizzle all 'bout some gay-ass elephant name Babar. Damn, chile. Dat Elephant retarded. He belong wit dat gay-ass monkey Curious George. Babar go chizzillin in Paris, wearin dat fugly-ass green suit. Foxy like to smack dat f*ggoty elephant back to da damn jungle, mo-fos. Dayum.
On dis week's edition of da Foxy News Channel, a bitch be spittin rhymes wit dat f*cked up ho call Amy Wizzinehouse. But dat ho can't get no visa for America, and I can't get no visa for no f*ggot-ass England (on account of bofe us sistahs be whatchoo call combictid felons). So a sistah gots to show dis damn inna-voo wit gay-azz sock puppitz. Check it:
You ready for dis shizzle, dawgs? Okay, den. Foxy gots to put on deez damn puppitz wif-out f*ckin up her tips I jus got did. Whoop! There it be!
FOXY B: Somebody gimme a HO-oh! Dis be Foxy B, foo. I be representin wif my girl Amy Wizzinehouse, mo-fos!
AMY WIZZINEHOUSE: 'Alo, pet. Give us a fag.
FB: 'Scooz me?
AW: I'm a bird wot likes to puff on the odd fag, got a spare then?
FB: Do I look like a ho dat gotz spare f*ckin f*ggits layin round? Respeck a ho, I fro dat sh*t.
AW: I believe you yanks call 'em ciggies.
FB: Oh! You tryin to get one o' Foxy's men-tall bajinya slimz? Sh*zzle, ho! All you gots to do is ax a bitch!
AW: Fanks, pet.
FB: So, Amy-bitch.
AW: Wot, luv?
FB: Oooooo! Whatchoo doin? Dat shizzle nass-tay!
AW: I'm a bird wot likes to jab the odd hypodermic of horse twixt me piggies.
FB: You tryin to tell a ho you stickin needles of smack in yo stank-azz toes? Oooooo!
AW: Fancy a jab yourself, then?
FB: No fanks, ho. Foxy jus got her peddy did. I gots some queshinz to ax yo ass, bitch.
AW: Then you gotz to lay dat shizzle on a bird.
FB: Fanks. Foxy be hearin shizzizzle 'bout yo azz goin to da hospizzizzle.
AW: Yeah. So give us a fag, then.
FB: Foxy just give yo azz a men-tall bajinya slim, ho.
AW: I'm a bird wot lose lit fags up me tw*t by the carton, luv.
FB: Foxy don't gots no mo. Oooooooo! What be dat??
AW: Wot, then?
FB: Bitch, yo toof jus fall out yo head!
AW: A toof?
FB: Yeah, ho. A toof! One of yo teef!
AW: Oh, cheers. Fanks. Me teef keep fallin out me gulliver by the fistfull. Wot's a bird to do?
FB: Ho, dat shizzle be triflin.
AW: Care for a puff, then?
AW: I'm a bird wot fancy the odd puff o' rock.
FB: You cookin crack? Oh, chile. Dat's ghetto.
AW: So you fancy a puff, then?
FB: Um. Okay. But don't you go tellin nobody.
AW: Me lips are sealed, pet.
FB: Not even yo extra f*ggits.