Former President Bill Clinton is currently in Pyongyang, chewing the fat with freshly spray-tanned stroke victim/demigod Kim Jong Il, trying to negotiate the release of a couple employees of his ex-sidekick Al Gore. The two women, reporters writing on the ickiness that is North Korea, are currently gaining valuable first-hand research on that particular topic as they eat dog pie in a re-education gulag. Fortch, one of our burly covert ninja operatives has cleverly disguised himself as 6 year old Korean Girl who handed a listening device concealed in a flower to Clinton and was thus able to record the following conversation:
KIM JONG IL: Welcome for coming!
BILL CLINTON: Yer a funny lookin feller.
KJI: We so so happy time we make big fun stuffs for funny fat Plesidant Crinton!
BC: Yeah, let's move past the formalities and get down to the nitty gritty. I just wolfed down a poodle burger and fries from a fast food joint called Fun-Yum-Pooch and soon I'm gonna hafta take a dump.
KJI: Dokie-okie! Let us to getting down with the glitty nitty stuffs!
BC: I want those two women.
KJI: Oh soldier-boy, you to doing sexy bouncy stuffs with naughty-fun boobie girlies! Which boobie-girlies you wanting to put cigar in now, cowboy?
BC: No, bubba. I want you to release Euna Lee and Laura Ling.
KJI: Who is to being these Euna Ree and Raula Ring boobie girlies?
BC: They're the boobie girlies you convicted of grave slander and sent to a labor camp.
KJI: Dokie-okie, you can to taking poopy-face frowny sad boobie girlies from laughy fun gulag.
KJI: You can sticking cigar up Ree and Ring's stinky place now, soldier-boy!
BC: Hillary took my cigar. She keeps it in her purse.
KJI: When I to saying cigar I am meaning that thing Mr. Lush Rimbaugh put in his mouth.
BC: A penis?
KJI: Yes, my Engrish is to being sucky. I am to meaning angry mad pants dragon!
BC: We're on the same page, Kimmy-Kim.
KJI: So Hirraly to keeping your angry mad pants dragon in purse-y-purse?
BC: It's for safe keeping.
KJI: Hirraly is poopy frowny bad lady.
BC: Come on, Buddy...you got lots in common with her. You both buy your pants suits off the Dress Barn discount rack.
KJI: KIM JONG IL NOT TO SHOPPING AT DRESS BARN, POOPY-FACE!!
KJI: I TO BUY PANTS SUITS AT THE J.C. PENNEYS PLACE FROM JAQUERINE SMITH CORRECTION!!
BC: Cool your jets, Kimmy. Now if you'll excuse me I really have to pinch a loaf.
Kim Jong Il sez: "You poopy Amelicans to stop subsclibing to this frowny sad brog! I make so so angly mad foot stompy dance!"