The governor of Alaska (and pin-up gal for uneducated evangelical beer swilling NASCAR fans from Nome to Tuscaloosa) shocked the political sphere by making her maverick stand against "politics as usual" by staging a rambling press conference. No one really knows what she was talking about; a team of forensic linguists have studied the text of her speech and have determined that it seemed to be about the following: the ethics laws she helped pass were making her job hard because now her ethics are being investigated, how only a quitter would call her a quitter for quitting, it's fun play basketball with a dead fish and God bless our troops also. Oh, and also, she intends to "effect change" from outside the politics-as-usual world of politics. As it turns out, Ms. Palin intends to "effect change" through the gift of inspirational song.
She can skin a moose. She can shoot wolves from a plane. She can destroy a presidential campaign, also. Heck, what can't she do? Grab a box of wine and a pack of caribou jerky, kick off your mukluks, also, and curl up in front of the fire as Sarah Palin wraps her sensuous throat around twelve aural gems about Jesus and other stuff also.
I Can See Jesus From My House Also
The Ballad of Levi's Genes (Keep it in Your Pants)
Lord, You're the Eskimo in the Igloo of My Heart
The "You Betcha" Song
We're Havin' an Old Time Book Burnin'
Retarded Like a Fox (The Trig Song)
Jesus is My Real First Dude
Let's Get Maverick-y
The Thrilla From Wasilla
Mush My Dogsled Home, Todd*
How Ya Gonna Keep 'em Down on the Yukon After They've Seen Yakutat?
SAMPLE LYRIC: Mush My Dogsled Home, Todd*
The box of wine's gone to my head
I put some fresh sheets on the bed
A scented candle sets the stage
I put the retard in his cage
I drugged his milk, he's feeling groggy
Todd for God's sake, do me doggie
Mush my dogsled, mush me home
Mush me from Valdez to Nome
Mush me faster, make it rough
Make this husky pant and puff
Let's win the Iditarod
I did a rod, and it was Todd's
The girls are out, 'til late, I think
They drove down to the hockey rink
Looking to pick up a puck
And hop inside the goalie's truck
And then go to some post-game keggers
To abstain all night until they're preggers
(repeat chorus twice)
Sarah sez: "Jesus wants you to subscribe to this blog's feed and buy my album, also."