Twitter, that ubiquitous stupid-pill that reduces discourse to half-sentences and has somehow convinced over a million users that Ashton Kutcher is interesting, has emerged as an unlikely weapon in recent days. The efforts of Iran's Mullahs to jam communications and expel reporters (when their hands aren't tied with the complicated business of gunning down its citizens and then taxing the victims' families for the bullets), have been impotent. Armies of citizen journalists have twitted events with admirable tenacity and frightening efficiency. If CNN emerged as the star of Desert Storm, Twitter has totally pwn'd mainstream media this go-around. Indeed, Twitter is dangerous.
For while one must admire its ability to provide multiplied P.O.V.'s on a given event (Rashomon times one million), one must also be terrified of any technology that enables Britney Spears to share her every thought with you. But more to the point, massive tomes have been written about historical events; eloquent theories of cause and effect, meticulous and scholarly reconstructions of the "whens" "whats" "whos" and "whys." One can't help but wonder how tomorrow's history will render the present. Furthermore, one wonders how human history would look today had Twitter been available since the beginning.
THE BURNING OF ROME
NERO: "OMG, u guys! I just learned how to play 'Smoke on the Water' on my violin!"
Please dear ass-whuppers, submit your own historical tweets!
Ayatollah Khamenei sez: "I would rather eat a pork chop on Ramadan than subscribe to this blog's feed!"