MEGHAN MCCAIN: Thank you. Thank you for such a warm welcome. I am totally honored and stuff that you've asked me, Meghan McCain, to talk at the Log Cabin Republicans 2009 Convention! Wooooooo!
Wasn't Kanye West's little rap-hop song cute? Those negro boys sure can dance. They can also, apparently, get elected so they can tax us rich folks into oblivion and spend our hard-inherited money as if they were George Bush.
But there's a lesson we can learn from Black Hussein Jihad Fatwa Bin Laden Obama and his rude white house take-over. It's fun to crash parties you're not invited to! When I look at the sea of your gay caucasian faces, Cliniqued and Lorealed into a stupor, I'm touched by your collective desire to be welcomed into the big tent of the Republican Party. This, despite the fact that most Republicans secretly wish you'd all get on a boat and sail back to Oz. It reminds me of the time that cute Jewboy Steven Spielberg tried to schedule tee-time at my Daddy's country club. Sometimes I think about that and I laugh and laugh and laugh. The fact is, I've always liked the homos. If it wasn't for you, no fat gal would ever go to a prom.
But in all seriosity, thanks for supporting my decrepit daddy in the election. And don't think he never met with you during the campaign 'cause he was afraid his base would call him a f*ggot-rimming fruit fly. That's exactly why he didn't, but don't think that. I was saying to my mom the other day, just before she passed out after her third Vico-tini and did a face-dive into her plate of Lean Cuisine Fetuccini Alfredo...wait, what? I totally forgot what I said to her. Oh yeah! I told her we should totally have a homo re-decorate houses one, two, four, six and seven. Houses three and five are next to some nosy GOP donors, and we can't risk them catching sight of a parade of snappy dressers mincing and sashaying in and out of the house with upholstery swatches and chihuahuas.
Anywho, there's an open bar! Remember, the self-loath-o-rama foam dance starts at 9, right after Ugly Betty. I can't wait to slip a five into the sweaty g-string of one of those humpalicious Congressional Page go-go boys! In the meantime, be sure to check out those darling displays in the lobby. I particularly liked the "How to Move to Vermont, Get Married and Vote Out Those Commie Liberals Who Made Our Wedding Possible" booth. There's also a kiosk selling GOP-themed sex toys, like "Don't Ask Don't Tell" buttplugs and "Strom Thurmond" slave shackles. Enjoy!!
Meghan sez: "I vote for subscribing to this blog's feed!"