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« Exotic Zoo Chicken Attacks, un film de Dad: A Totally True Story | Main | HRM Queen Elizabeth II Wishes to Address the Rude Pair Who Shagged Each Other Rotten on the Front Lawn of Windsor Castle »

April 30, 2009

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Rambosf

I had to stop the video twice while watching it. These people lost their son years before he died. Their narrow mindedness caused him to hide who he was from his family.

I cannot even make a joke out of anything in this post, but appreciate that you could.

How very sad.

Whup-Ass Master

@rambo: agreed. their video is shameful, shameless, and deeply, deeply sad. I feel so badly for Randy. He certainly deserved more loving parents.

xox
WAM

Rambosf

WAM...I was fortunate to come from the "don't ask, don't tell" type of family where being gay was never discussed. I did have my Southern Baptist Grandmother tell me once that I had a cousin in Memphis who lived with a man and that was OK with her. That was all she said and I pretended not to know what she meant. She knew I was gay before I did...lol

Whup-Ass Master

@rambo: great story. your southern baptist grandmother was a woman of true heart and generous of spirit. celebrate her.

xox
WAM

Ryan

Ugh. Thanks for bringing that to my attention... As a gay man in the Midwest living with HIV, I'm just glad that my parents aren't, you know, as retarded as the Schowengerdts are. I'm pretty sure that the karmic repercussions for exploiting the death of a child to further one's own bigoted agenda will not be pretty.

Whup-Ass Master

Howdy Ryan,

As a gay man in the midwest with hiv, you are us. And a parent is either unconditionally loving or rotten, there's really no room for a gray area.

xox
WAM

augusto

You have handled this in a magnificent manner. If only the Schowengerdteners could ever comprehend the message in your reply. Shame on them for abusing their son's life and now his memory.

Love your blog.

Whup-Ass Master

Thanks Augusto...keep comin back! Tell your friends! Spread joy!

xox
WAM

lablu∞z

I'm not freaked out by this "Family". Of course, the end of Randy's life was tragic, but there is so much tragedy we walk through daily we are next to blinded to it, and those who are not yet entirely, mostly focus on their shoes.

I'm numbly horrified (read accustomed to the horror) that the Schowengerdt's would need a license to raise a puppy, but not destroy the life of their child.

Mostly i am freaked out that the Urban Dictionary entry for "rusty trombone" says “was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.” Whatever did the kids play before?!?!

Jeffrey Ellis

Nice letter, WAM. What a couple of asshats the Schowentards are.

Whup-Ass Master

@lablu-z: We're not horrified or freaked out by the Schowengerdts either. But they do disgust us. Oh, and before the Rusty Trombone was invented I believe the kids were into Donkey Punching.

@JE: Thanks, and agreed.

xox
WAM

Jan

I think the problem here is a little more serious than a gay son. I mean, really - take a really good look at those two. They look WAY too much alike to simply be married.

And I totally agree with your assessment of Mrs. Schowengerdts looks, WAM. I wonder if someone should inform Mr. Schowengerdts about the article in a recent issue of More magazine about how more and more women over the age of 40 are leaving long-term, hetero marriages to be with another woman.

Whup-Ass Master

I would LOVE for Judy Schowengerdt to leave Karl for a welder named Pearl.

xox
WAM

Jamie

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Schowengerdt,

I’ve recently been made aware of your editorial and interviews regarding the loss of your son to AIDS. I am very sorry for your loss and please understand that I too, have lost loved ones to this horrible disease.

You have been through a great tragedy and for that, I am truly sorry. But in the interest of truth and honesty, I cannot let your statements about homosexuality, AIDS and marriage equality stand without someone pointing out your ignorance about it.

I never made a choice to be gay. I was recruited by no one. I spent my youth being bullied and harassed by children who clearly think the same way as you. Parents and others in positions of authority who tell their children to hate and to choose ignorance over love, acceptance and family are the reasons for generations of gay people suffering such horrific discrimination and shame.

You speak in your video interview about the fact that your son felt too much shame to ever come forward and tell anyone he was living with HIV. And if he hadn’t felt this shame, he may have come forward earlier and perhaps lived a very long and healthy life with proper treatment.

While I respect your feelings and your opinions about homosexuality, YOU are the reason your son felt so much shame that he could not come forward and tell you he was sick sooner. I have many friends, gay and straight, who have lived with HIV for several decades now. With more support from his family, perhaps your son might still be with us today.

It is attitudes like yours which cause not only people like your son to hide a fatal disease, but for schoolchildren to torment other kids so badly that at eleven years-old, they feel they have no other way out than to hang themselves – as in the recent cases of Jaheem Herrera and Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover. It is attitudes full of ignorance and hatred that cause 1/3 of all teenage suicides to be made up of LGBT young people.

Don’t you see, Mr. and Mrs. Schowengerdt that you are a part of the problem, not the solution? No one made your son gay. Your son did not “choose” the gay lifestyle. And I can promise you that his unhappiness stemmed only from the shame he felt from an upbringing full of intolerance and ignorance. So much ignorance in fact, that you have made the public choice to blame your son’s death on homosexuality and somehow magically link it to marriage equality. I am astounded that unlike others who have lost their children to AIDS, suicide, or even a hate crime, as in the case of Matthew Shepard, you have chosen to remain ignorant to the facts. You are the only ones making a choice here, and that choice is to continue the volatile and ultimately fatal trend of hatred, which brought on the death of your own child.

May you find peace one day and may you come to the realization that hatred and ignorance is the only thing that brings about destruction.

Sincerely,

Jamie McGonnigal
www.TalkAboutEquality.org

Whup-Ass Master

Dear Jamie, thanks for the letter.

Now print it, stamp it, and send it to the Schowengerdts. They need to hear from you.

xox
WAM

fqsy_01@hotmail.com

http://www.timberlandboots4uk.org

Sharon

I just found this site & am so deeply saddened. I knew Randy when he went to ISU. He never fit in with his family, was hemmed in by their very conservative christian life. I never knew he was gay but it totally makes sense to me. I can imagine that he could never come out to his parents, I can imagine that he would have been ashamed to tell them about his HIV status and I weep for him. He was a great guy who deserved parents who would love him and accept him unconditionally - unfortunately he did not have that. I totally agree with Jamie's letter.

Anne


wow.... I just don't really know what to say! I feel as tho I have been karate kicked in the gut for hours. That was horrible! I got here via Sharon, my sister, who knew Randy while at ISU. How can parents care more about the "cost to the tax-payers" in reguards to their son's illness, more than they cared about their son?! It truly distresses me that people are out there thinking that Gay Marriage has desanctified theirs! I am at such a loss. I feel sorry for anyone who is listening to their baloney. Jamie, I hope you did mail that letter, they won't understand it, they are too Southern Baptist & Sanctimonious to realize they have done anything wrong, but it needed to be sent/said.
I will now thank my parents, married for 55 years, even more for being the loving open 80+ year olds that they are!

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