As our gorgeous blog prepares to celebrate two years as the black hole of the cultural zeitgeist, we are wont to glance in the review mirror at the detritus left in our fearful wake. To translate for our home schooled/Baptist/Tuscaloosan readership: we reckon we orta take a gander back.
When COWA was still in its infancy, we discovered the alarming phenomenon of Ms. Verka Serduchka, a zaftig, tone-deaf Ukrainian drag queen and living reminder of Chernobyl's tragic legacy. At the time, she had just been selected to represent Ukraine in that annual celebration of international bad taste, Eurovision.
The song she "performed," an ear-raping discosaster called "Danzing: Lasha Tumbai," was spectacularly bizarre. An appalling marriage of disco and polka, it featured dancing twinks flailing about in shiny silver boy scout uniforms and BLACK KNEE-HIGH SOCKS (we can't emphasize that enough). Verka herself was clad as a transsexual hybrid of the tin man and a mirror ball, huffing and puffing her way through the odd choreography, her relationship with the song's key growing increasingly estranged. Watch the video of Verka's Eurovision performance at your own risk: it gets stuck in the head like a tumor.
Alas, Verka placed second in Eurovision, losing out to a caterwauling Serbian lesbian called Marija Serifovic who looked like Thelma from Scooby Do and wailed about something no one understood because it was in Serbian. Ukraine wasn't even the gayest entry that year. England took that honor.
So what has become of Verka? Well she's done some more videos. In her defiant yet deluded "I am Eurovision Queen," the poor woman appears to have lost her tenuous grip on reality. In it, she compulsively irons a blouse, yells gibberish into a shower head and alienates the populace of several European cities, all while dragging around her pet; a terrified midgette clad in a Finnish track suit and a babushka.
Increasingly peculiar, Verka's cover of German thrash-metal group Rammstein's "Du Hast" features prancing construction workers and fire-breathing peasants. It looks like a production of La Cage Aux Folles directed by Fassbinder and set in Dante's Inferno.
But perhaps most shocking is this footage of her shaking her groove thing with iron-fisted Belorussian tyrant Alexander Lukashenko. Remarkable, considering Verka is banned from Russian and Belorussian television. It cannot be denied: Verkamania will change the world. Or, in the words of our favorite Belorussian commentator on the YouTube page: "Bwa-ha-ha! Transvestoid dances with political tyran! (sic) It is to laugh all!"
"Transvestoid" is now officially our favorite word. Viva transvestoid Verka!
Verka sez: "Seben-seben-ai-lu-lu! Subscribe to this blog's feed!