Somebody gimme a HO-oh! Respeck, mo-fos. Foxy B done fly her fine azz 'round da f*ckin worl, chile. Here I be, reppazintin from da boogie down Beijing. Tonight, da azz-kickin' olymplicks be fixin to start da f*ck up. Word. Firs, let a sistah spit some rhyme 'bout da flight. Those stoodawiss hos fink they cute. They be all up in a bitch's grill saying shizzle like "Ms. Brown, it be agins FAA regulasha-whatzits to wax yo muff in da firs class baff-room" and "Ms. Brown, da other passajerz be bitchin 'bout yo titties fallin out yo tube top" and "I'm sorry Ms. Brown, but da pilot punk do not wish to spark up a fatty in da cockpit wif yo fine azz." Dayum, bitches. A lady just tryin to trabble in style, yo. Foxy fro dat shit.
Now I gots me a rap 'bout Beijing. Dis hood smell like a fart, yo. And they be all these Chinesian peeps shufflin they flat azzes all 'round. This place be like one big-azz chinatown, dat's fo sho. And da food here ain't right. Foxy go out lass night fo a plate of dat sweet an' sour poke (a sistah really want a big f*ckin mac, but I be tryin to edjoomacate my azz an' be all f*ckin sensatib to other gay-azz culchaz an' shizzizzle). A lady park her fine ba-donk-a-donk at a cafe dat gots some cute-ass dog puppitz a-danglin in they window. Smiley shuffle-y waiter punk give a sistah a minyoo. Foxy don't see no sweet n' sour poke. They only gotz triflin' shizzle like "Happy Lucky Woof-Woof" and "Arfy-Arf Fun Stew" and "Aunt Betsy-san's Happy Good Shih Tzu Sausage Stuffs." A ho just point at some shizzle on da minyoo and hope for da bess. When a sistah's food come, Foxy see a paw stickin out of a bun. I be like "I don't FINK so, punk! Shuffle yo azz on back to da kitchin an fix a lady a hot dog!" Fine-lee a ho get her hot dog but it don't taste right. Anovah fing a sistah know-tiss; those Chinezians stand up to poo, chile. Foxy don't play dat. I ain't tryin' to fuck up my Ferragamos just cuz they naz-tee food fly out a sistah's bootie like a water balloon shot from a f*ckin cannon, yo. Respeck.
But da reezin a sistah be in da boogie down Beijing is I gots me a innavoo wif da punk who be runnin' dis gay-azz olymplick shizzizzle. Dis be a Speshul A-Dishin of da Foxy News Channel, mo-fos. Check it.
FOXY BROWN: Somebody gimme a HO-ho! A ho be reppa-zintin from bei to da jing, bitches. I be spittin' rhyme wif some Chineezian punk who be skoolin a sistah in da olymplick shizzizzle. Respeck.
FU YU HO: Hello for going. We make happy face.
FB: What be yo name, punk?
FYH: Fu Yu Ho.
FB: Foo, you da ho.
FYH: No, Fu Yu Ho.
FB: Foo, I say you da ho.
FYH: We make stompy foot! Fu Yu Ho!!
FB: Fine, bitch. I be da ho, foo. A sistah gots some queshinz she tryin to lay on yo azz.
FYH: Dokie-okie. You are to laying those shizzizzle stuffs onto a dude-person.
FB: Check it. Why you Chineezian punks be so f*ckin polite? Only peep I evah seen smile so much was dat crazay-zay bitch in Cellblock B who eat her poop.
FYH: We so so so happy excited face for to hosting glorious duper-super orympics! Hippy hippy hoolay time!
FB: Punk you gots to chillax. Let's spark up a fatty an mellow the f*ck out.
FYH: Oh, we are not to make smokey time with smelly sad dragon reefer stuffs.
FB: Trust a ho. Puff on dat sh*t, foo.
FYH: Ah, this is to being the chronic doobage time.
FB: So lay dis on a sistah. Why dat stadium look like groun' f*ckin zero on Sepember twelf? Whatevah punk construck dat shizzle be smokin some of dis, yo.
FYH: You are to being naughty fun blacky negro boobie girly with Fu Yu Ho?
FB: Foo, you da ho.
FYH: No, my name is to being Fu Yu Ho.
FB: Puff-puff-pass, punk.
FYH: Oh. Solly. Here is to passing dragon reefer.
FB: Fanks, bitch.
FYH: I not to being bitchy-man. I Fu Yu Ho.
FB: Punk, Foxy fixin' to bus' some Kung Fu shizzle on yo azz. You da ho.
FYH: Dokie-okie. You are to showing Fu Yu Ho Janet Jackson boobie time?
FB: You tryin to see a sistah's titty?
FYH: Yes. We to also making sexy wiggle fun stuffs with Fu Yu Ho?
FB: Punk, you triflin. Dis gay-azz innavoo be played out. And you da ho, foo. Respeck.
Foxy sez: foo, you da ho if you don't subscribe to dis feed, dawg.
You are to making happy lucky vote-y time on Humor-Blogs, dokie-okie?