However, it's a subject we find endlessly fascinating.
For instance, Angelina Jolie recently checked into a luxury seaside hospital to have two fresh additions to her baby zoo extracted from her womb. Shortly thereafter, she sold exclusive photos to People Magazine for $14 million.
To put it into perspective, photos of the world's most fortunate infants filling their diapers could buy:
- The annual salaries of 35,000 Chadians
- A year of life-saving anti-starvation rations (known as plumpynut) for 38,356 children in Nigeria
- One-fifth of Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfien's 2007 bonus
- 73,684 prosthetic limbs for Cambodian landmine victims
- One-third of Cher's mansion
- 10,145 FEMA trailers
- A month of anti-retroviral drugs for 466,667 of the world's poorest AIDS sufferers
Moving on: when Jolie's least-favorite baby Shiloh emerged from her bloody thighs, photographs were sold for a paltry $1.75 million. Knox and Vivienne snaps are worth $7 million each. That's an appreciation of 400%. With that in mind, pics of Jolie's next screaming poop machine will be worth $28 million, equal to the bonus received by Ford CEO Alan Mulally for 4 months on the job, or 105,660 Red Cross tents for disaster victims. After that, photos of her next uterus plop shall fetch the modest fee of $112 million, equal to the amount of aid the U.S. gave to Ethiopia this year.
Conclusion: Ms. Jolie should incorporate post-haste, and take her uterus public. That's an IPO to rival Google. We like that rate of return.
Hell, that's even better than Exxon.
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