NEW YORK -- Our favorite foul-mouthed anchornegress has alerted us that she has a news item that's hot off the g*ddamned presses, and we know better than to argue with her.
Take it away, Sue!
Hello, butt-bandits! I'm Sue "f*ck-me-where-I-poo" Simmons, and this is a g*ddamned c*cksucking news brief:
I interrupt your g*ddamned f*ggoty day to bring you this goat-f*cking piece of *ss-fisting news. Whup-ass Master (the m*therf*ckin sphincter-banging author of this *ss-felching blog), is taking a few d*ck-smoking days in the sh*t-sucking metropolis of Columbus Ohio. One of his f*ggot-*ss plays is being produced by Ohio State University (home of the bone-me-up-the-butt Buckeyes), and he's hauled his c*ck-poked *ss on a plane to be there for some tw*t-munching pre-production meetings.
That means this c*nt-banging blog is un-f*cking-likely to have many fist-me-til-I-fart postings in the next few g*ddamned days. So stick that c*ck in your mouths and smoke it.
This m*therf*cking story and others, on the next f*ggot-*ss edition of the %#@&! News with Sailor Talkin' Muff-Bangin Butt-Humping Sue.
We return your c*ck-sitting *sses to your regularly scheduled g*ddamned program, m*therf*ckers.