Welcome for coming! Gleetings from most glorious smiley nation of China! This past month, after surprise wakey uppy shakey fun earthquake, China make happy friends with earth peoples! Yay! This is for we to letting cameras show China peoples to be saved by smiley nice army peoples. Now you to forgetting laughy friendy army peoples to making frowny poop-eating Tibet peoples do laughy silly cattle prod dance, okay? And you to also forgetting those
thousands hundreds dozens three or four rude students who have smashy squishy time under tank treads or do jerky funny bullet dance 19 years ago in glorious Tiananmen Square! You to also forgetting silly killy toothpaste! Why to forgetting this frowny stuffs? Because we make glorious orympic time! We so super excited face! Yay!
And now we to giving lucky good list to foreign peoples who to coming to glorious orympic time. This is list of frowny stuffs you not do! If you do stuffs on this list we make shouty mean face!
- You not to make chokey face at yummy fun brown Beijing air.
- You not to be Sharon Stone.
- You not to make listen time with poopy sad peoples who make cry face about silly dead children peoples who take dirt nap in schools we building with chow mein as mortar.
- You not to be Bjork.
- You not to make laughy noise at opening sell-a-mony when ten thousand girly dancers make jumpy aroundy retarded dancy time. That traditional dancy-dance! You make clappy noise!
- You not to be French.
- You not to make laughy face or to acting barfy if you to walk by lucky good dog butcher. You to order Saint Bernard burger and pretend you likey! Arf, arf!
- You not to be Richard Gere.
- You to not bring chronic ganja, killer "e", Tina-san or the horsie. You to not roll fatties of major doobage. Smacky, cracky, or whacky tobaccy? Police will arrest you and breaky your backy.
- You not to be Mia Farrow.
- You not to make haggle with happy good man who to selling you Falun Gong kidneys.
- You not to be Steven Spielberg.
- You not to make laughy noise at Chinese gymnast girlie when she make slip on balancy beam and land on girly hole (shaming her family and dooming herself to ten years at happy fun re-educational camp).
THANK YOU FOR GOING! DON'T FORGET YOUR PANDA POOP!