NEGRO PUPPET: Psssst.
LAURA BUSH: Huh? Me?
NP: Yeah you, cracker bitch! You see anyone else?
LB: Every time I've washed down my Xanaxes with one too many Old-Grandad-and-Dr-Peppers, I like to walk it off in the Rose Garden. Sometimes I see the most interesting creatures. But they usually don't say "howdy" like you!
NP: You wasted. That's just how I like my hos. White, drunk and dumb as a stump.
LB: You're funny looking!
NP: Check yoself, cracker bitch! I ain't the one with a Shaun Cassidy haircut and a Dress Barn blazer, walkin 'round all stooped over like quasi-f*ckin-modo!
LB: You look like a talking kitty-cat in a mammy wig!
NP: Bitch, you ever play a game called Muppet Show?
LB: Yippee! I like games. How do we play?
NP: First I stick my arm up in your white-ass booty, all the way to the elbow.
LB: Heavens to betsy!
NP: Then I call you Miss Piggy and you squeal.
LB: Oh! Just like "Duck, Duck, Goose!"
LB: You're silly! And your face is almost as fuzzy as my mother-in-law's!
NP: That bitch nasty. She smell like a used adult diaper dipped in sulphur and gin.
LB: I hafta go pee-pee. See ya.
NP: Aw, don't go back inside, cracker bitch. Just hike your skirt behind this wall, no one can see.
LB: You're naughty!
NP: Come on ho. Give a puppet brother a golden shower.
NP: That's it, sister. Piss on some blackfolk jus' like your hubby do.