Guest Contributor: Rosie O'Donnell

As the Whup-Ass Master's guest
I'm gonna blog how I blog best
First things first: I'm sure you know
Things are rough on Rosie O
You've seen my reputation scarred
That movie where I played a 'tard
The magazine of mine that tanked
My broadway show that stunk and sanked
Then that time I let it fly
That Clay's a sissy on the sly
After that I angered folks
With my chinky China jokes
Next the feud with Donald Trump
(I'd love to waste the pasty chump)
I ragged on Anna's lack o' charm
Hours before she bought the farm
Last night I dreamt I'd wrung the neck
O' dizzy Lizzie Hasslebeck
And aint no bitch can quite annoy
Like "redhead" rent-a-yenta Joy
As for Barbara, let's be blunt
She starts with "c" and rhymes with "runt"
That superannuated witch
Sometimes I could choke out a bitch
It's just a phase, I have a hunch
But I'm done blogging, time for lunch